Drabbles
by AwesomeJellyBean
Summary: Literally the title. Just some drabbles of my shitty OC and how he feels about Cloud. Really doesn't follow any real plot. It's just here. Rated M just to be safe.
1. Hate Yourself

**Disclaimer- I do not own FFVII. I only own my shitty characters and the shitty whatever you call it in this shitty fanfiction.**

He hated him, he decided.

He hated him with a passion.

His dark brown eyes followed the blond as he walked in.

He hated him.

He hated his stupid fucking spiky chocobo hair, his sad puppy eyes, his pretty boy face, his stupid fucking name-

Everything.

However, there is one thing that he hates the most.

How alike he was to him.

The blond was so very much like him.

Not in looks, but in personality.

That pathetic wallowing in hopelessness.

The feeling of uselessness- of being too weak to protect or keep their loved ones.

The constant begging for forgiveness.

The belief that it's all their fault.

He gets up, feeling sick just thinking about it.

_'Fucking Cloud.' _He thinks, his thoughts filled with detest.

_'Fuck you and your fucking pathetic fucking bullshit. You are such a fucking pusillanimous bitch.'_

He tried, he really did.

He tried to think of, to focus only on his hatred for the blond, but-

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and his heart started to hurt.

He found it hard to breath, and his thoughts became a frenzy.

With trembling hands, he removed the phone from his pocket, and checked.

**Zeke **Hey we need to talk

He placed a hand onto his chest, foolishly hoping that it would stop the pain, or at least sooth it.

It did nothing.

He took a deep breath, and headed to his room, ignoring the worried look that the blond shot him.

He really fucking hated him.


	2. Do Not Disturb

Cloud stopped right outside Caius's door.

He could barely hear sobbing coming from inside, and went to knock, when he stopped, fist just centimeters from the door.

...Should he really do this?

Caius hates him, after all.

At least, he says it all the time.

But...

Cloud steeled himself, and knocked.

"Who is it?" Caius asked from behind the door, his voice muffled.

Cloud hesitated, before speaking.

"Cloud."

There was a long silence, before Cloud spoke once more.

"Can I...come in?"

There was a great deal of noise inside the room, until the door opened, revealing a slightly red and puffy-eyed Caius.

"What do you want?" He growled, though there wasn't really any malice behind it.

He sounded...tired.

"I just...are you...alright?" Cloud managed to ask.

The shorter, dark-haired man's eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"I...I'm fine, Cloud. I'm just...very tired."

He was quiet for a while, looking down, before snapping his head back up to glare at the blond.

"Well? I'm fucking tired, so get lost, you spiky haired dumbass!" Caius snarled, with much of his usual bite towards Cloud present in his voice.

Cloud flinched, and looked at Caius as if he'd actually been struck.

"Okay...I'm sorry."

Now it was Caius's turn to look as if he was struck.

"And don't fucking apologize to me!" He shouted before slamming the door in Cloud's face.

Cloud stared at the closed door for a while, then sighed.

He knew that it was a bad idea...

But Caius-

He looked so...hurt, and tired, and sad, and although he's always been rough on him, he just-

He wasn't sure.

He didn't really understand Caius, and he probably never fully will understand him.

But he wanted to.

Perhaps, once he's found out more about the mysterious young man, he'll understand what it was that he felt towards him.

But first, he'd need to get him to not hate him.


	3. Pity Party AKA Caius is a shit baby

That fucking puppy dog-eyed blond bastard!

How dare he fucking care!

Ugh, he hated him even more now!

Caius curled up in a little ball, and let out a shaky breath.

No.

No, he didn't hate him.

He hated himself.

_'Stupid, stupid little boy. You always ruin everything. You made him sad, and you're...you're a freak.'_

It was unspoken, but he knew.

He knew why Zeke had done what he did-

He couldn't handle it.

Couldn't handle Caius's gender.

No...

No, he was weak.

He was weak, cowardly, and an asshole.

Like his biological father.

Caius even told him this.

He hoped that it hurt him.

He hoped that he could at least inflict at least a small amount of pain onto that cheating, manipulative bastard.

He knew that it was nothing compared to how he felt, but one day, he would make sure that Zeke knew this pain.

He wanted it more than anything else.

...No, he didn't.

_'Caius, you stupid fucking forgiving weak piece of shit. Why do you still love that bastard? After all the shit he's done, with the lies, and the cheating, and the manipulating, and the-_

_The not listening. _

_Idiot. Why do you still love him? He wouldn't stop, even though you told him to. He fucking made shit up about you. He fucking cheated on you, and when you forgave him, and told him you'd accept him back, he fucking chose that stupid little back-stabbing girl over you. He fucking tried to keep you on the side as his fucking whore! So, why?'_

He kept telling himself of all of the ways that he betrayed and hurt him, but no matter what, it was still there-

He stilled loved him.

And he hated it.

Hated himself for it.

Hated that he was lying there, crying like an infant, and wallowing in self pity.

He was acting like a child, and he hated it.

He fucking hated everything.

Why'd he have to be this way?

Why'd he fall for all those lies?

_'Why do I feel the need to take out my own short comings on other people? Why do I snap at them when they just want to help?'_

He was pathetic.

He should just kill himself right now, but...

Ugh, it would probably make that stupid blond sad.

Cloud...

What a stupid-ass name for such a stupid-ass guy.

_'Dumb blond. Why the fuck do you even care?'_


End file.
